i spent like twenty minutes hunting endermen for two enderpearls for this dude on the myranium server who kept asking ppl for- basically the exact mats for two enderchests.  and i finally did it and i was like hey you wanted obisidian right?? and asked to tp to him and he let me and i was like it isnt obsidian but i think its better 

and hes like no i need obsidian for enderchests.

and i gave him two enderchests

and then just said :0

and i was just very proud of being able to help this person out like heck yeah, i can be useful and not utter trash for once 


the “you live with your parents” insult is really flaccid because a metric shitton of cultures don’t see “leave the house forever” as some grandiose moment of liberation that’s so important to the development of a person that it has to happen as fast as possible. until i came to the USA i didn’t know a single person who was pressured by their parents to leave the house because they’re “too old to stay there” or whatever. in puerto rico it is really common to stay with your parents until they and you are both stable enough that you can leave. whaddaya know, there are cultures that don’t place a stigma on being poor or wanting to care for your family or needing your family to care for you for some other reason.


"i’m just being the devil’s advocate" did he send you from hell??????? is he paying you for that job or is part of your punishment for being a terrible human being that you gotta do it for free


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its taken me over an hour to make french bacon grilled cheese for me and my brother and my hands are caked in bacon grease and eggs and maple syrup 

but it was worth it

a pretzel wasn’t dinner like at all

is midnight too late to make french toast?


crushes man


crushes man

i forgot to have dinner
so pretzel!

i forgot to have dinner

so pretzel!

Me: She identifies as a girl. So she's a girl.
Friend: But she's really a
Me: No stop



do u ever have a thought that’s so fuckin inappropriate that u feel like dumping a bucket of water on urself like. calm down, self. tone it down. think about jesus